When I left my job, I never thought I could be so tired. Then I became a stay-at-home mom and added to that list items that are never-ending. Like dishes and laundry. Neverending. And we are pet owners. So if it’s not the kids, it’s the cats!
So back to being too tired and thinking I couldn’t be worse. I was wrong! Now I’m tired of the added bonus of knowing I did nothing to make me tired. Not nothing, but when I was working, I was lifting 20 to 50 lbs at a time repeatedly and wasn’t as tired as I am now.
But working stole all my time. Being a stay-at-home mom has helped me find my time. But in the process I have lost myself, just a little. Let’s take a look at some of the responsibilities of a stay-at-home mom. To be clear, working moms have all the same responsibilities, but none of the time to do it.
Responsibilities of Moms
Cleaning the house. All of the house.
Taking care of pets, including their waste
Feeding Everyone
Bathing Everyone ( We have sm children)
Yardwork
Nurse for the kids
Homework time
Weekly Schedules
This is not even a comprehensive list. This is just the basics. Caring for a family is hard work. Most of the time, it’s worth it, though. For our family at this time in our lives, it works. But it works because we make it work.
My hubby does all the manual labor these days, and I take care of the household while he is working his butt off for us. Childcare would have cost a fortune for us because we have 3 kids. Now it’s better because we only need before care and after care, but it is still too expensive. My whole check would go for child care. So I stay home with the kids.
Pros of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Increased Time with Children
Ability to bond and nurture children
I always wondered what it would be like to stay home with my kids. As a working mom, those were my thoughts. And as we continued to pop out kids, it got harder to plan childcare. Now I can play with them, and it turns out my kids have special needs, so they need extra appointments and care. If I were still working, I would never be able to make it to all their appointments.
Flexibility in daily routines and activities
I can be flexible with others. When I was working, I had one schedule, the work schedule, and it said when I had to leave the house and when I could come back. It controlled my sleep schedule, and every other schedule had to be compared to it.
Involvement in Child’s Development
Direct influence on education and values
The working schedule didn’t allow me to spend time with the kids. I would have been gone before they ever even got on the bus. What a blessing to be allowed into their lives. I hope they always have that desire.
Opportunity to engage in learning activities
Because I’m always here, I’m not too tired to take them to after-school events, or even if they get an award. I can get to them. I’m happy to sit in the audience at their school assemblies.
Cost Savings
Savings on childcare expenses
For childcare in my area, they wanted close to 900 dollars ,per week, for all three kids. So that would have been 3600 dollars for all three kidos. That’s more than I made.
Potential for reduced commuting and work-related costs
Next is Gas. Because I’m not working Im not spending nerly as much gas. I fill up my tank like every other week or 3 instead of every week.
Nor do I need to purchase lunch. Eating at home has so many posibilities and saves my wallet. There are more opportunitites to eat healthy from the comfort of your kitchen.
Household Management
Managing a household comes with endless trials all in itself but the biggest positive is at least you have a household to manage. The kitchen you’re in is yours to use as you see fit.
More time to manage household tasks and responsibilities
The working girl in me didn’t have time therefore often times it did’nt get done or I was doing it on the weekends. My spouse would want my attention but I would be off cleaning. Now I get my major cleaning done in the morning after dropping the kids at the bus and have the rest of the day for me.
Ability to create a stable home environment
Because the job does not come first I have the ability, time and want to to create a stable home environement for my family. Cleaning is only one of many ways I manage to do that.Im also the butler,the maid, the nurse, the cook, the chofer and a shoulder when necessary.
Personal Fulfillment
Taking care of my family is priority one today. Getting them to school and then back home supercedes anything I want to do. I just happy there is so much time in between. Then feeding and batahing everyone is next!
Satisfaction from raising children and managing a home
The more I do it the more I find stisfaction in it. But it can be a lonely endeavor sometimes. Raising a family is difficult. Teaching and training and trying to do it right this time.
Opportunities for personal growth and skill development
Speding so mmuch time alone gives me time to think though. I get to practice the things I preach or show everyone how I believe one thing but go do another. What a hypocrite. I am my own worst critic.
Cons of Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Financial Dependence
Being finacially dependant is daunting in itself. It takes away your ability to make decisions. Having money makes the world go around! So if you’re thinking of coming home to be with the kids know you won’t have any income unless your spouse is super generous all the time.
Reliance on partner’s income
Which brings us to relying on our partner for finances. It means you have to ask for school picture money, and grocery moeny. You have to ask permision to go places becasue they may cost money. And your partner becomes responsible for all the bills.
Potential for limited financial freedom
So the financial freesom is missing completly as a stay at home mom. Unless you can make more than your spouse. I personally would like to just be able to help my spouse a little. He works 7 days a week to take care of us. I would love to be able to take a little pressure off.
Career Impact
I gave up my job to come home to be with the kids because my whole check would go towards childcare. I gave up a lot of training I went through. I had been with the company for 5 years. That is the longest I have ever been anywhere.
Possible stagnation or loss of career progression
There is nothing for me to go back to. When I start working again I am literally starting all over. So I started this blog as a means to work somehow. And quite posibly make something.
Challenges in re-entering the workforce later
Becasue my job no longer exists there is nothing to go back to. Thererfore going back to work is like pulling teeth. I currently have special needs kiddos so the job I had won’t work. I had to be out the door by 6!
C. Social Isolation
Being a stay at home mom is very isolating. Most of what I do is done in the house and the job is not one that needs help. There are a few ways to socially engage but most of the time I’m alone. and the more I’m alone the more I like it like that. It can be very self defeating.
Limited adult interaction and socialization
And becasue I hardly ever see people I end up with diareah at the mouth and find myself just talk, talk, talking too much. I have like 2 friends and some inlaws that I talk to but sometimes I don’t get to talk to anyone for days at a time.
Feelings of loneliness or disconnect from peers
It is easy to become lonely. While I wait for kiddos to get home I can find myself lonely a lot. It is hard to fill my time. I really hate cleaning and really only do it because I have a family who deserve to live in a clean house.and being a stay at home mom I don’t really have any peers. My friends I guess.
Emotional Strain
There is a lot of emotional strain that can come with being a stay at home mom. But once again I want to give props to my husband who makes it all happen. Without him I could not be a stay at home mom. The strain could be a lot worse. I could be trying to do it all alone. For some people that is fine. I’m sure I wouldnt survive!
Stress from managing household and childcare responsibilities
Managing a household and taking care of children is a stressful chore. But it is a chore I am happy to do. That’s one thinng about being a stay at home mom for me. It’s all about my family and how I take care of them.
Potential for feelings of inadequacy or burnout
Being a stay at home mom has allowed me many rewards but the job takes a toll and I can find myself burned out if I don’t practice in adequate self care practices and routines. I’m, still learning how to make those a habit.
Loss of Personal Identity
In the midst of being a stay at home mom I have lost my identity. Who I am, what I am about. I’m in the midst of finding myself again. That’s part of what this blog is about. Finding me.
Struggle to maintain individual interests and hobbies
It wasn’t until recently that I realized I have a hobby. I like to blog. I like to talk even if it’s mostly about myself. I like to write and use my imagination. I like to read. These are all hobbies that as a stay at home mom I didn’t realize I had.
Difficulty in balancing personal and family needs
You see, all my time has been spent raising little people and they are just now ready to go out on their own just a little. I can only follow them around so long before they start calling me a stalker. Wouldn’t want that!
Conclusion
In conclusion the pros
-Time with Family
-No traffic
-In charge of household
-Time to care for household and self
and the cons-
-No Money
-Loneliness
-Loss of Self
of being a stay at home mom
This decisions are a personal choice. To each his own. Some people are happy with their schedules just the way they are. And some people want to change their schedules and can’t.
Be happy with what you have or change it is what I always hear. So If you would like to change your circumstances know you are not alone.
